Our pockets may be shallow, but we are rich.

Money guys….it sucks. It’s also awesome, but definitely still sucks. I feel like it runs the world or, at least, runs my life. Everything you do, whether it’s optional or not costs money. All of the necessities seem to be more expensive every time I go grocery shopping or fill up my gas tank. Buying my kids clothes, which seems like the biggest waste of money in the world costs more than most people spend purchasing a car over the span of my kiddos live’s.

I went to school with all of these people that are somehow living in huge houses, and have beautiful yards, their clothes are the bomb, their kids are dressed perfectly and they are ALWAYS traveling. I’m sure that most of them worked hard to get where they are  and I’m absolutely sure that money can also be a stressed for them, but sometimes it’s so hard to watch their lives when I’m over here working harder than ever before and I still feel like that green stuff is my boss.

My husband is absolutely going to hate that I’m announcing to the world that money isn’t our best friend right now, but it’s the truth and I figured that it’s probably something that a lot of people can relate to. Now am I saying that we’re dead broke and looking for charity? Absolutely not.

The point is that money stresses me out sometimes and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one in this boat.  We are currently living in my in-laws basement while we wait for a few things to play out and for those that have ever lived in someone else’s home you know, it’s both a blessing and a curse. I feel like I have to reassure people “Yes, I know you saw me in this yesterday, but here’s the thing, I did laundry last night and I promise it’s clean.” Sometimes we get bills in the mail and I just stare at them and want to cry because I’m so sick of having to give money to other people.

If you have kids, or even if you’re like me and love Disney and Pixar you’ve seen the movie Up and will recall how they are trying to save money to go toParadise Falls (which let’s be honest sounds like a dream). Every time it seems that they get a little bit of money to put in their savings jar, a hammer swings in to break it open so that they can fix their car, or pay a hospital bill and I couldn’t help but say to myself “oh, I feel your frustration Mr. Fredrickson, that is the story of my life.” I feel like every time I am blessed with excess money, there is some type of universal law that insists that something has to happen to take it all away and prevent me from ever getting ahead.

There have been so many times in my life that I’ve found myself living in a permanent state of doomsday. I get dressed wishing that I had something better to wear so that I can impress the people at my husband’s mission reunion. I follow all of these cute boutiques on Instagram and Facebook that are always promoting the cutest clothes for my kids and I can’t help but feel bitter that I can’t afford to buy them. I hate having to explain to friends and family that going out to dinner is out of our budget this time. It’s hard watching my husband wake up before the sun and climb in bed long after it’s gone down trying to provide for our family but still feeling like he’s failing at doing so because like it or not money does bring a degree of happiness even though it may not buy it.

It was last week that as my kids were re-watching Up (for I don’t know, the millionth time) and I was folding laundry complaining to myself about needing to buy more detergent because that stuff is EXPENSIVE that I finally saw something that I couldn’t believe I had never seen before. After every hammer slam and hands reaching into the jar for the money that they had saved to accomplish their dreams, they live each day with these wrinkly old smiles on their faces. There is never a scene of them at the fanciest of restaurants but instead, they climb up the same hill over and over for a picnic. There is never a time that you see them shopping for the hundreds of dollars in clothes that I wish I could go and get as I type these words. But rather you find them investing time instead of money.

It’s all too often that I have responded to the stresses that finances cause with tears because if we’re being honest that’s my go to feeling. But for the first time in a long time I’ve seen the value of my life just like the Fredrickson’s and that’s in time, not in my bank account. Ultimately when it comes to financial freedom there are obviously options that will allow you to pay off debt, make more money and spend less on essentials. But if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or stressed because money is tight, or feeling bitter because you wish that you could have everything that you want it’s time that you reset your sights on how you are viewing what it means to be rich. We go to the gym or on a drive for our date nights. Netflix is our jam right now and Cafe Rio is sometimes a little out of our price range but we splurge anyways. Our kids are ripping holes in those Walmart jeans at the park down the street and my in-laws, who remember live upstairs, are watching my children grow from the very front row.

There are so many things that I could complain about but friends, even though I could broadcast my bank account to the world and they might not agree with me, I’m the richest woman I know. My children, my husband, my family, hot dogs on the BBQ with some good old fashion Kraft Mac and Cheese, my parents, siblings, friends and the occasional Swig Cookie. (PS they’re under $2.00 and DE-LISH!) Those are the things that make me filthy freaking rich. If you’re feeling like the world is caving in on you and that you will always be a slave to money, don’t you think it’s time to re-evaluate? I can promise you that while cold hard cash will offer you peace of mind and relief, it’s not what really truly makes you wealthy.

Also, in case you haven’t seen UP check out the snippet below! It’s the cutest thing ever!


3 thoughts on “Our pockets may be shallow, but we are rich.

  1. I can definitely relate to your feeling like you’re the only one missing out on the clothes, fancy dates, and expensive vacations. But I can tell you that I know too many people that live on debt. All you see on social media is their highlight reel. I have a friend that her husband and her built their home years ago (2007, right before the bubble burst) and they paid wayyyyy too much for it. Their mortgage is $2,600. They still have student loans they pay minimums on. They have car payments. They have credit cards. They financed their furniture. But believe me, they look good on social media…but I am stressed for them! My friend would like to be a stay at home mom, but she can’t afford to because of their debt. I work for a dental office and some of the doctors I work for live paycheck to paycheck.

    My husband and I had 46k in debt when we got married. We were making extra payments on things when we could and we did ok, but still wondered where our money went every month. We felt we should be in a better spot than we were.

    We heard of Dave Ramsey (a financial advisor/radio talk show host) and read his book “The Total Money Makeover,” and it changed our lives. There are stories in the book of people that are making 300k/yr and have nothing to show for themselves. We managed to pay off the remaining 36k in 14 months. We lived on a strict budget and were up front with our family and friends about what we were doing and they gave us crusties for it. We didn’t give birthday/Christmas presents that 14 mos. We managed to live on 27k that year.

    Getting out of debt was a challenge, but I learned so much about life during that time. 1-I don’t need much to live on. 2-I don’t want to look good if it means it jepordizes my finances and most people have debt. I am content with what I have. 3-if I sacrifice now, I will have more later. 4-My marriage improved. My husband and I communicated about everything because of our common goal. 5-Reaching our goal of being debt free was a process and now we are working on other goals together…like retirement! 6-Just because I have money to buy something, it doesn’t mean I do. I’m more choosy with my purchases. 7-It doesn’t take much to be happy.

    Life is hard. Don’t compare your life to everyone else’s high light reel.


  2. You are an excellent writer! So far I have only read two of your posts but I love to read blogs and I will def. make reading yours one of my usuals. You need to find a way to contribute your articles for pay to make some extra money. I think you have a perspective others would enjoy and relate.


  3. I somehow got to this post through your no lives matter post. I have to tell you that you are so right, other people need to know that people are struggling too. Its hard with social media. People show you what they want you to see. And it can leave you feeling awful. We don’t own a home, we live in an expensive area, boh my husband and I work and have 3 kids and I go to bed every night anxious about money. I get so frustrated feeling like we are working for nothing, because its bills, a little bit of groceries and gas. If our kids need shoes I have to budget it two paychecks ahead. I feel like a slave to money too. Then I step back and realize, we have a house. We have water and electricity. We have food. My kids are clothed. We can’t hop in the car and go whenever we want, but we can make memories at home just the same. It’s hard to remember that in the thick of it, but I know this shall pass. It will get better and comparison is the thief of joy. So really, thank you for vocalizing your feelings. I needed to know I wasn’t the o my person feeling this way!


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